4-18-2022

A paraphrase from the Ethics of the Fathers:  at least how I remember it.

The day is short

The work is long

You are not obligated to complete the work

But neither are you free to desist from lending a hand

I am feeling that the work is long, have been feeling it for the last few days.  I picked up what I thought were 16 suitcases at the Type of Wood office, only to discover that there were 16 more nestled inside when I started handing them out in Korczowa.

I asked for some help from center staff in handing them out, there were so many.  They took me in and out of different rooms, into places I hadn’t been.  So many people, families, children, babies.  

There was the happy grateful response, much like the day before.  But I noticed other things as I was moving through the different rooms.

I think I was feeling the weight of the overall trauma, the vicarious traumatization that comes with being exposed to others trauma, before this.  But today, either due to my nature or my training, what stood out was the number of adults and teenagers sleeping or just lying on their cots, in despair.  Despair seems more  accurate than depression.

I think of one woman’s face.  She had bags and bags of clothes, but when I offered her a suitcase, she could barely lift her head and shake it, no.  She was not the only one, but she stands out in my mind.

That level of despair.  I was concerned because people curled up quietly on their cot are not making plans, not looking for help to get somewhere else, getting help with connecting with those resources.  This is what despair is.  The people I was transporting had done that in some shape or form, that’s why they were out of here.

Truly bad things, events, wildfires, floods, hurricanes, war, bad diagnoses, crash into our lives, you don’t get to decide whether or not to accept delivery, they are too big and overwhelming.  They are here.

But good fortune, like recognizing and accepting a lucky talisman rock, often has to be helped along, welcomed, responded to, met part way. It may call in a very soft voice, not a shout.  So I worried about those too is despair to do this.  Maybe that’s for my next trip.

There’s an organization providing refugee services called A Drop in the Ocean. I feel wonderful about what I’ve done and at the same time, also feel it’s a drop in the ocean. It’s hard to hold bother feelings at the same time, they’re both true.

Ron Kovic came to mind.  He’s the Vietnam veteran who wrote the book Born on the Fourth of July, that became the Tom Cruise movie.  He wrote that there’s only one war, and it’s always the same war, between those who dish hell out and those who catch it.

I ran into a group of Army Airborne soldiers in the mall. They are 18th Airborne, out of Fort Bragg.  I said hi, told them what I was doing, didn’t ask what they were doing in Poland, besides shopping.  We shook hands all around.

I read in Stars and Stripes that they set up a base in Rzeszow in March.  If you look at the map from an earlier post, you will see that I drive by it twice a day.  Close to the border, good highway from there to the border.

Standing in the center is Rostyslav.  On his backpack it says “Google Cloud Architect”  I asked him if he was was that.  He said yes, and his girl friend, to his left, Yenia, is in marketing.

They are on their way to Lisbon.  I asked if Google was helping them, the ways Dimas’  company was helping him.  He smiled, said they continue to pay us, and that is enough to get set up in Lisbon, initially with friends there.  He pulled out a bunch of hundred dollar bills, and said he wanted to help pay for the van, the diesel.  I declined, encouraged him to donate to Type of Wood, gave him the information for doing so.

He said he didn’t think I appreciated how much it meant for me and others to be doing this.  It was a funny thing, the way he said it, as if he could feel what I had been feeling.  I thanked him, said certainly for today he was right, it seemed service and kindness were inadequate to the situation.  I thought of the 18th Airborne standing by, Zelensky asking for them and more to come on in.

Rostyslav said, yes, it’s all awful, a big mess, but you can do this and you are, I’m glad for that. You are helping us get somewhere safe for us.

It reminded me of what my mentor, George, said to me early in my career (and life).  Some setback in working with someone had occurred.  He asked:  did you really think that the world and its difficulties were going to just lay down before your good intentions?

I responded, well, I hadn’t really thought about it, but now that you mention it, I guess I did.  As ridiculous and grandiose as that seems, when you say it out loud.  He said something along the line of the Ethics of the Fathers, Type of Wood, kind of comment.

It must have had an effect.  Here I am, 71, still lending a hand.  You too.  You bought that red suitcase in the picture.